Imaginary Gardens

Today I signed up for a week-long ski trip with the international students, because it would be good for me to be social, and I'll never again have the opportunity for an event that cheap, and because my parents think I should.

Skiing scares the shit out of me, I'll have to say. It's the speed and the thought of falling downhill, like there's a precipice at the end of the hill and I'm just going to fall off. I can ski decently well, but it feels a bit like I'm about to freakin' die of fear.

The fear of speed is a lovely little psychological scar from the time I was riding a particular bastard of a horse ( Read more... ) So that's why the sensation of speed freaks me out, and why I don't quite enjoy skiing. But I've signed up and I'm going to go and hopefully make friends and have people to hang out with for a week somewhere in France. And two days after that, in March, I'm hopping over to Rome again, because I've got to experience Easter Mass with the Pope and all that jazz.


Apart from that, I've skimmed through 420 job placements in the biology section of a search page, eaten cake, watched Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and failed at life.


I was trolling through my old entries yesterday looking for stuff, when I came across the entry for March 21, 2008 and I realized, with horror and disappointment and defeatism, that I'm at the same place as that post. Almost two years later, and I'm in the same fucking corner.


Meme: Comment to this post and I will tell you a reason why I like you/love you/think you're fucking awesome.

Meme - 30 Days - Day 06 - Whatever tickles your fancy: ( GIFs )


Video of the Day: Craig Ferguson speaks on his past problems as an alcoholic and why he will not ridicule Britney Spears and her shaved head crisis. ( Embedded )

Alternatively, a happy animated video of Nom Nom Noms. ( Embedded )


Links of the Day:

Supernatural: ( Read more... )
Watchmen: ( Read more... )
Lost: ( Read more... )
Random Fandom: ( Read more... )
Random: ( Read more... )


* "Loneliness is Better When You're Not Alone", Hello Saferide (listen to it)

Went shopping today in the land of plenty recession. Am very tired. It's bloody exhausting to eye so many horrid things in the hopes of something decent, and it's incredibly emotionally taxing to undress in those changing rooms with mirrors placed at "Look! Your ass!" angles and trying to squeeze into clothes you'll never be able to wear.

Sixteen Things Meme: "List sixteen random things about yourself, then tag sixteen people to do the same." Only without the tagging. Via lienne. ( Read more... )

Email!Meme via blizzardcake: ( Read more... )


* "The End of the Innocence", Don Henley

Reading Blueprint For a Sutainable Economy by DPearce & EBBarbier (2000) and once again, a pet peeve gets petted. ( Latin America )

In today's emotional topography, I was skirting the great Marsh of Suck** and could see, far in the distance, the Pit of Blah. Luckily, whilst striding through the Woods of Worry, I failed to attract the attention of a flock of Dodos of Doom - though there were near enough to be heard, cooing softly, "Dooooom. Doo-wooom. Doomanu, doomanu. Doooom."***

So what did I do? I was rebellious and irresponsible and acted in direct opposition to my Mother's desires. Meaning, I bought shit. ( Lookit. )


Links of the Day: ( Massive. For a given value of. )


* "Weighty Ghost", Wintersleep (Music Video)
** Alliteration fails me. Quicksand of Suck? Sea of Suck? But it wouldn't suck then, just...drown.
*** The Dodos of Doom are really just the dodos in Ice Age, flocking around the hero's chanting, "Doom on you!" They seemed like an apt emotional!metaphor.

Today's been a pretty strange day (by absolutley no standards whatsoever). I went grocery-shopping first thing smack out of bed - fooood** - and then 'netted and finally got around to working. I'm not doing so bad on that front: emailed supervisor, did a quick over-view of the outline, read a couple articles... I'm not happy with the progress but at least I'm not tearing my hair out about it.

Speaking of: I found a pure white hair yesterday. Attatched to my scalp. Me. With a white hair. Yeah. (It's gone now, what with the *omgyank*.) And it's seriously white. It seems to be the only one so far. Oh gods, as if listening to 80's music didn't make me feel old enough.

'Cause that's another thing I've been doing. I started listening to ( Read more... )

I've spent the entire day with a headache making my head feeling like a vibrating hot melon. Pain killers are a lie! That and I've drank my weight in water and quote possibly sneezed more than some people do in a whole year. And I've been wearing a scarf in the house. We iz sick and do not want.

There's one other thing I want to say - or rather, post - but that requires a particular timing. And its own post-page. So, ta! I'm off to get non-nutritional groceries. I've got this yearning for... I have no idea, really. Sugar. Cookies. Twizzlers. Fuzzy Peach omgImissthatsomuch.

ETA: Items bought: Royal Club Bitter Lemon soda, Coco pops, Muesli bars, individual pizza, Sour Cream and Onion Pringles, Roze Koeken (pink-icing mini-muffins), Cote d'Or Milk chocolate and hazelnuts, Norton Cabernet Sauvignon 2007 rose wine, bottle opener.
Comlimentary item: Pancake Smurf. The very Smurf I'd been hoping for!
Conclusions: I'm rebelling. With food.


* Bob Marley song
** I have no explanation for why I oogled the wine bottles. There's a chain-smoking alcoholic buried somewhere deep in my psyche, I'm sure of it.

( Stuff failed to happen, and I bought presents. )

I also got postcards and tourist mementos for folk. If you're reading this and know me personally, you'll be getting something Dutch for Christmas! If you're reading this and don't know me personally, but would like a little something for the holidays, I'm game. I offer myself up for graphics e.g. icons (I must warn I'm no expert) or fic. Physical things will be limited to mementoes, and will, of course, require full name and address. (I am totally serious about this, people. Yes, even especially about the physical mementoes.)

I've been thinking of getting a Bad Taste Bear for my brother. He's just so hard to shop for. (Mainly because I don't know the first thing about him. I didn't recognize his handwriting for fuck's sake.) I really want to get him this one, though this or this is cool. (This one's awesome.)

Btw, I find it hilarious that the pride and joy and national symbol of the Netherlands was actually patented in Norway. *sighs* Poor Norway. If it weren't for Roald Dahl, you wouldn't exist for me. As it is, all I know is that you have goats, useful for pipe-pranks on your uncle. I've never said, but a letter, of sorts, that Dahl wrote to children in 1990, explaining how he was sick and feeling tired, but hoped they'd fix him up right, is one of my most treasured possessions. As with many of my possessions, I have no idea where it is, but it's safe.

Speaking of author's letters, I was pleasantly surprised to see Four Letter Word: New Love Letters was actually a book, and not just some wierd "sign up and you'll get love letters written by proffesional writers sent to you" which is all I'd gathered when Neil Gaiman was blogging about it.

So, naturally, I flipped to Neil's story. And it's so delightfully, quintisentially Neil. I love that man so much. Oh, Neil, only you could make a love letter into something so creeptastically*** disturbing. (He can even recommend Amazon's new gadget Kimble and I'll still listen and squee.)

( A brief-ish recap of the love letter )

Also, yesterday I was all set to listen to the BBC dramatization of Ananzi Boys only to find out that they'd finally changed the scheduling and I'll never ever get to hear it. The only good that came of this woe is that I did a torrent search for Gaiman, and discovered audio books on file. *glee* Now, please, someone tell me why the hell did I leave my copy of Good Omens in Barcelona? Was I on crack?!? Insane?!? Crowley, baby, could you ever forgive me?

*keyboard flail* *spasms* Cillian Murphey was Kitten in Breakfast on Pluto *omgomgomg* Chameleonic in-fucking-deed! I bloody watched that film!

I seem to be type-swearing a lot. Hmm. Funny. Still don't do it outloud (except in the lonely privacy of my own room, after particularly bad moments). I also seem to be abusing the poor word "also". For shame.

Oh, and I did manage to save the Sylar recap of goodness vid I made, but I think it needs a fix-up and...yeah. So give me another day or two, yeah?

And finally, a couple extracts of Forget You Had A Daughter which, no, I can't read more than a page of without almost bursting into tears. (I say "almost" because I was in public. Added self-restraint, there.)

This is NON-Fiction. Events described here have happened, and Buddha on a lotus, they are happening, in similar forms even now. ( Read more... )


* You've Changed, Berttie Serveert
** Lots of that going round, though. I kinda really want to go home. Or, well, Home. 'Cause it't going to be the four of us again this Christmas, but this time at home in TO - brother's girlfriend is flying to her parents', cue *ooooh* from mom and I, understanding just why bro's flying up to TO - and I really want us to be a funcitonal family. We won't and it'll suck in heartbreaking ways I cannot express, but a girl can dream, right?
*** Yes, it's a word. No, the word-monger ferrets won't eat me for this.

[...] but the best I can do, my friends, is random bits and pieces.

I'm alive! *waves* Obviously none of you folks are, though. Look alive, people!

*stops* *reconsiders* *is promptly lost behind a crowd of zombies*

The life and times of me, summarized:

( Purchases )

Plus, I figured I was "allowed", what with that extra bit of bling from babysitting. Ha! I've gone from wiping bums one week - I am not kidding, though I wish I were - to being fired from my babysitting job the other. ( Read more... )

I'm reading John Irving's Until I Find You, which deals with a tattoo artist and her sone. Naturally enough brings this makes me think quite a bit about my own tattoo options. I think I'm a bit more decided on what I want. (Or theoretically want, because, Hello? Chicken?) It'd be the hieroglyph of the scarab in the middle of my back - on the spine - quite small, in black ink. (Not at the base of the spine, particularly since I learnt it was coloqually called a "whore stamp".)

I've been having bizarre dreams lately. ( Read more... )

The two universities I sent my lates applications to emailed saying I was missing documents, or that my papers weren't "certified". ( The fuck you say? )

Fanfiction-wise, I've done very little. Last night I translated Undertow for my aunt, who likes it. *squee* Really likes it. *suqee squee squee* Writing fanfiction has totally messed with my writing scenelettes for my own personal enjoyment. Now whenever I jot down the outline of a daydream, just for posterity's sake, I can't help thinking about the dialogue, whether somehting is too contrived or not. Frig, man, it's like being a porn star who can't masturbate in her own livingroom without thinking about the hypothetical camera angles and lights. (Hell-ooo crack!metaphor.)


Links of the Day

Neil Gaiman embeds various short films on his blog. Check out the beautiful Tyger, of which there are higher quality versions (and more info) here. He was also up for sainthood (as an April Fools).
kawaii_not does "Cute Gone Wrong" comics.
The famous Cyanide and Happiness comics.
Schadenfreude Pie recipie. "Dark. Rich. And oh so bittersweet."


* The Dice Man, Luke Rhinehart

I've spent the morning at the gym and blowdrying my hair. Good gods I have a lot of hair. The reason is that I'm going to Price tomorrow to get some passport pictures done, because I'll need pictures in Spain, and from the way my mom's talking, they don't take pictures in Spain.

Or skin care products, which is why I'll then be off to Sears and Shoppers Drugmart with dad to buy stuff. I'll definately weasle in BGS's "Up" and Did's "Life for Rent".

Dad crawled out of bed yesterday holding out an Indigo discount card. It expires the 31st. He's had it a whole month. And only now thinks, hey, maybe this could be useful.

Well, it isn't. Because I'm refraining on Sandman and getting Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters, which is something like $12. The discount is on $50 or more.

The Toronto SF convention is going on today, I think, and tomorrow. "Diana Troy", "R2D2", Kevin Sorbo, Alec Baldwin and James Marsters, amongst others, are going to be there.

Sigh.

In less than a week I'll be in Chicago with my brother. Am taking him booze, maple syrup, shampoo and pants. Actually, I just picked the booze and syrup, mom's the one who bought the other stuff. He just has to try Ice Wine (hey, you need dessert with that, so guess we'll have to get dessert - and if that's mispelt, stuff it) and he loves Moet et Chandon.

Found a cheep flight to Spain, though I'd have to lose the return flight. Do not want to call the agency.

Now I'm off to defrost some fish and ask fritters for the use of her promotional Serentiy icon.

I'm boring.

Holy F'g God. I just bought Firefly's 4 DVDs. Am extatic, terrified and apprehensive at the obscene amounts of cash I've used today. (That includes Chicago ticket.)

OMG.

Ironic, isn't it, that I haven't bought Buffy or Angel first? But this is a little thing, only 14 eps, and not 22 eps in a normal, non-cancelled, season. Besides, with these 14, they're all there, no pesky missing seasons.

Someday, though, the other Whedon jewels will be mine, but when I actually have money. (I'm considering this a graduation present, although my parents don't even understands what this is.)

OK, still shocked, but am suddenly starving.

O.o

(Still shocked.)

PS: Glee!