Not out of accident, out of loneliness*

[bending_sickle]

Today I signed up for a week-long ski trip with the international students, because it would be good for me to be social, and I'll never again have the opportunity for an event that cheap, and because my parents think I should.

Skiing scares the shit out of me, I'll have to say. It's the speed and the thought of falling downhill, like there's a precipice at the end of the hill and I'm just going to fall off. I can ski decently well, but it feels a bit like I'm about to freakin' die of fear.

The fear of speed is a lovely little psychological scar from the time I was riding a particular bastard of a horse who was always, every time I or anyone else rode him, somewhat psychotic in the MUST RUN NOW! sense, and that day he went completely insane and just started racing around and around and I couldn't stop him or trap him in a circle or anything, and I even seriously considered jumping off because he wouldn't stop. Eventually he did, or I got him to, or actually he decided to not jump the log I suddenly and accidentally managed to steer him into. I promptly got off, stood on wobbley legs as my instructor took the psycho for a round or two, then got back on.

The following week, another horse, Legal, who was my dearest darling (even if he stopped dead if you made him pass horses going in the opposite direction) decided to pull the same trick, albeit for a shorter amount of time. That just cemented the speed bad link in my brain.

So that's why the sensation of speed freaks me out, and why I don't quite enjoy skiing. But I've signed up and I'm going to go and hopefully make friends and have people to hang out with for a week somewhere in France. And two days after that, in March, I'm hopping over to Rome again, because I've got to experience Easter Mass with the Pope and all that jazz.


Apart from that, I've skimmed through 420 job placements in the biology section of a search page, eaten cake, watched Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and failed at life.


I was trolling through my old entries yesterday looking for stuff, when I came across the entry for March 21, 2008 and I realized, with horror and disappointment and defeatism, that I'm at the same place as that post. Almost two years later, and I'm in the same fucking corner.


Meme: Comment to this post and I will tell you a reason why I like you/love you/think you're fucking awesome.

Meme - 30 Days - Day 06 - Whatever tickles your fancy: GIFs. Loads of. Or as many as I can upload without a) breaking photobucket or b) losing all patience.


Jackie Earle Haley says, *eyeroll*


In Bruges says, 0.0, D:


Dean wants to smack a bitch.


Matthew Goode says, "I'm adorable!" (more here)


The Doctor says, "Someone's thinking about sex...and it's me."


Wee!Jackie Earle Haley says, "See ya!"

Previously:

Day 01 → Your favorite song
Day 02 → Your favorite movie
Day 03 → Your favorite television program
Day 04 → Your favorite book
Day 05 → Your favorite quote

Coming Soon

Coming Soon:
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 → A photo you took
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 → A fictional book
Day 14 → A non-fictional book
Day 15 → A fanfic
Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 → A talent of yours
Day 20 → A hobby of yours
Day 21 → A recipe
Day 22 → A website
Day 23 → A YouTube video
Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 → Your day, in great detail
Day 26 → Your week, in great detail
Day 27 → This month, in great detail
Day 28 → This year, in great detail
Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy


Video of the Day: Craig Ferguson speaks on his past problems as an alcoholic and why he will not ridicule Britney Spears and her shaved head crisis.

Alternatively, a happy animated video of Nom Nom Noms.

Links of the Day:

Supernatural:
lilithonearth on dean_sam's Fanvid Thunderstruck (On YouTube)

Watchmen:
whiskerslily's Fic Stakeout (Dan, Rorschach)

Lost:
dizzyknee's Picspam Sawyer/Kate
ack_attack's Top 100 Lost Quotes
dean_sam's flocked Scanned Newsweek (Feb. 1) Article on Lost (Photobucketed Scan)

Random Fandom:
heard_of_it - Obscure fandom recs.
rightonicons - Random Fandom Icons
destina's Fanvid Recs - Sherlock Holmes, Watchmen, Wall-E, Flashforward, Die Hard, Wild Wild West, White Collar
sam_storyteller's Black Books/Good Omens Crossover Fic That's Why They Call It A Gift - ♥
thedailyshow's Jon Stewart's speech for the Hope for Haiti Benefit
La Femme Nikita's The Michael Files
Good Omens Podfic - With Supernatural and Black Books crossovers
TVTropes' Vorkosigan Saga - Apparently a hilarious must-read.
Wikia: Encyclopedia Marysuenica
The Futon Critic's Human Target 1x01 Review - "First and foremost, I was surprised by the complete lack of emotional attachment to Chance. [...] In the actual pilot, we're privy to none of this and instead left with few reasons to root and/or care for Chance other than he's the hero of a TV show and that's who we're supposed to root and/or care for." THIS

Random:
marika_kailaya's Haiti relief project - "For Haiti relief, I'll be making and selling handbound, blank books inspired by Haitian vodou." ; Original Fic Such a Fucking Cliché - "you can assume this letter got lost in the chaos following his birth and her death, because meki sure as hell never read it." A heart-breaking letter from Mother.
wtf_humans' Rape victim whiplashed for conceiving. What's worse, the rapist has been pardoned.
IKEA Lamp Commercial - May just break your heart.
XKCD's Comic Spirit
Wiki's Chemical Castration
National Wildlife's 2009 Photo Contest
StCustards' The Private Life of the Gerund
Regular Paracord Survival Bracelet - For the zombiepocalypse!


* "Loneliness is Better When You're Not Alone", Hello Saferide (listen to it)

Comments

[lienne.livejournal.com]

*squishes*

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

I love you because you're adorable and huggable and creative and make hundreds of glorious icons and write sexy torture and about gender identity and because you are AWESOME. ♥

[blizzardcake.livejournal.com]

OMG ♥ I HAZ MAIL IN THE FORM OF THE YUMMIEST WAFFLES EVER AND THE AWESOMEST CARD EVER!!! Thank you so very much my dear =) *huggs* It made me smile (and I haven't done that all day thanks to trying to write up the most messed up lab report... how does one end up with a negative concentration anyhow!? Dumb calibration curve lol)

*HUGGS YOU AGAIIIIIN*

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

*huggles you madly* You're very welcome, m'dear! Glad you liked it! ♥

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

Oh, also! Meme! I love you because you flail over science and share exciting new music and send postcards and squee over things and are awesome. \o/

[seschat.livejournal.com]

I've never skied (I even had to look up the conjugating of 'ski,' lookit what's going on!), and I'd possibly break myself trying. So kudos if you're going even if you're scared. It sounds like fun, though! The vacation, that is. I'm skeptical about all kinds of sports.

And you absolutely do not fail at life. You just graduated! Just give yourself a moment to breathe. ♥

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

I'm also skeptical about sports and downright loathe participating in team sports. But skiing is just standing whilst zooming down a hill at horrifying speeds so...oh gods.

Thanks for telling me I don't fail ♥ *squishes you*

Also! Meme! I love you because you're awesome and got me through Nano with my sanity intact and are in the same time zone so we can have epic comment threads and because you squee about squeeful things and pimp out music and bribe me with chocolate and are huggable and brilliant and are just so damn nice. ♥x100000, yo.

[poisoned-sleep.livejournal.com]

You're not necessarily in the same boat as you were two years ago. Now you HAVE the master's degree! You didn't drop out! You WENT TO KENYA and completed the fuck out of that master's. YAY!

I still think you should go to the UK. Or return here. I know it seems impossible sometimes. But those are the places I see you in.

xxx
Kit-Kat

PS- I LOVE YOU because you're sweet and smart and funny and warm and sensitive and you understand me. Because you're you. Because you're cute as a button with cat's eyes.

(I felt like participating in the love.)

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOU. That is all.

And I just talked to my folks and my dad was all, "Hey! Take an internship or a job that's for 3 months!" and I'm all, "But then I'm shit out of luck in three months and in a different country and fucked!" and he's just "That's just what it's got to be!" and "Then take another three-month-job!" and I'm just D: and gnaaaargh! and it's made me upset and angry, hence this ramble. I'd just like to start with something that, barring stupidity on my part, gives me a chance for like 8 months or so, not something that'll will definitely throw me out just when I'm getting the hang of it. Argh.

[seschat.livejournal.com]

You cannot say - stuff to me just like that! *wibbles*

*wipes away tear*

How can you be so awesome, how? I DO NOT HAVE AN ANSWER TO THIS PARTICULAR QUESTION. TRUST ME ON THIS. It's like with... the Higgs boson. People are being very confused about that, too.

THUS: YOUR FANTASTICNESS IS VERY MYSTERIOUS. But you very well might be one of the coolest people ever I got to know, you and your... fantasticness, damn you.

♥♥♥

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

Excuse me, there's just something in my eye. *sniffles*

I LOVE YOU!