Hey, kids it's me, I bet you thought that I was dead!*

[bending_sickle]

It turns out that in the whole month I've only written one single entry which...yeah, sorry about that. Everything is still very much status quo, in that I've done another Italian course and I've kept going to therapy. I haven't done very much of anything else. There's been some anxiety, some shouting, some let's just lie down and pretend we don't exist.

Although lately I've been riding a do all the things! wave which doesn't go beyond the thought that I could, indeed, do all the things, but I never actually do them. I just come up with grand ideas of how I could study Italian, German, French, and Mandarin, clean out my entire room, start up a vigorous exercise routine, organize some 10,000 words of headcanon into an actual story, and of course, find an apartment in Berlin and also take up baking courses, go back to school, send out all the job applications... I think you get the idea of what my brain has been doing. (Being a little shit is what it's been doing.)

Also this past week I seem to have been all over the place and hello, impulsivity in that I skipped class twice (which I never ever do) and splurged on high-heeled shoes which, should I trip, will undoubtedly result in a broken nose and ankle. I mean, I've always wanted pumps, but still. My buy all the things! battle-cry is pretty unusual, considering I can spend ten minutes pep-talking myself into buying a stick of gum. ("Do you really want the gum? Is it worth spending money on this?")

In other news, I continue to be incapable of reading books (or articles, or paragraphs, or anything because what is attention span) which is why I have about a thousand started and in various states of completion. I'm slightly better at watching things, and have made my way through much of Richard Armitage's filmography (Spooks, Strike Back, and currently Robin Hood) and I also sobbed my way through Being Human (UK).

But basically, my supply of squee seems to have petered out (except for brief moments where I start dancing in my bedroom and everything is awesome, which, what?)

Oh, and I've discovered Macklemore's The Heist album and want to cuddle it forever.

In conclusion: the status quo continues and I might just die here.


Quote of the Day: Clive Barker, here (as quoted by Neil Gaiman)

If you get loud, everyone else gets louder to top you. And then everyone's shouting and nobody's listening. If you want everyone to listen to you, get quieter. People will listen.

Links of the Day:
Other Fandom:
redscharlach's Cabin Pressure Icons
hesychasm on My Mad Fat Diary Part 1, Part 2
fandom_wank's Tenth Anniversary Wank Collection

Random:
chn_breathmint's Fic Writer's Guide to Firearms, Pt 1
ursulav's So I’m Feeling My Way Through An Alternate History…and I could use some help ; D&D: Hellhound Rescue ; Adorable Art and Story
wondermark's The Machine of Death: Game and Book 2 - Includes three new stories
marika_kailaya's song rec links
theweaselking's embed A street performer covers Leonard Cohen, on crystal drinking glasses.
404! With Lemmings! - Mah childhoooooood! ; Maldives sentences 15-year-old girl to 100 lashes, because she reported being raped.
Website You Had One Job
IMDB's Dancing on the Edge - Chiwetel Ejiofor, Matthew Goode, Angel Coulby in a series dealing with "a black jazz band [that] becomes entangled in the aristocratic world of 1930s London as they seek fame and fortune."


* Clown, Billy Madison

Comments

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

Aaaw, I'm sorry you're feeling ill. *wraps you up in blankets and makes you chamomile tea*

and then the other twelve - Oh sweet gods that means there were a lot of children there! Glad to know you survived. And aw, your cat :>

I'm okay. Last night I went on a bit of a "reorganize the whole closet!" craze for hours and was practically flailing with energy, which was interesting, but today's been pretty chill. As for the broader picture, I still have no idea what I'm doing and am pretty paralyzed by the idea of doing it, so...yep. On the plus side, I've got a bunch of contacts from my Italian course, so I might actually be able to hit some folk up for *gasp* socializing.

*snuggles*

[capn-mactastic.livejournal.com]

*cuddles up in blankets* *tries not to breathe on you*

LOL, I have a pretty big extended family, so when we get together it's bedlam. Kids everywhere. A few peeps were a bit worried when I tootled up with Norman, because he's a scary looking cat, but he's a big softy and acts like a dog when he feels like it (he played fetch and tug-of-war, the kids were like 'minds... blown.')

Organising's good and constructive, :D And yay for socialising! How's the therapy going? Or don't you know yet? Don't think about the big picture yet.

*hugs*

[bending-sickle.livejournal.com]

Aw, your cat sounds precious.

As for therapy, I don't know? She's a cognitive psychologist, so there's a lot of getting me trying to become aware of how I think or interpret things and then change that which...hard. So I have no idea what's happening but I'm still going which is a good thing, I guess.

*snuggles you* *hands over tea and a hot water bottle*

[capn-mactastic.livejournal.com]

With any luck it'll get easier ♥ And yeah, it seems encouraging that you're still going ♥ ♥

*huggles despite being in a wretched ball*