bending_sickle | Hey, kids it's me, I bet you thought that I was dead!*

It turns out that in the whole month I've only written one single entry which...yeah, sorry about that. Everything is still very much status quo, in that I've done another Italian course and I've kept going to therapy. I haven't done very much of anything else. There's been some anxiety, some shouting, some let's just lie down and pretend we don't exist.

Although lately I've been riding a do all the things! wave which doesn't go beyond the thought that I could, indeed, do all the things, but I never actually do them. I just come up with grand ideas of how I could study Italian, German, French, and Mandarin, clean out my entire room, start up a vigorous exercise routine, organize some 10,000 words of headcanon into an actual story, and of course, find an apartment in Berlin and also take up baking courses, go back to school, send out all the job applications... I think you get the idea of what my brain has been doing. (Being a little shit is what it's been doing.)

Also this past week I seem to have been all over the place and hello, impulsivity in that I skipped class twice (which I never ever do) and splurged on high-heeled shoes which, should I trip, will undoubtedly result in a broken nose and ankle. I mean, I've always wanted pumps, but still. My buy all the things! battle-cry is pretty unusual, considering I can spend ten minutes pep-talking myself into buying a stick of gum. ("Do you really want the gum? Is it worth spending money on this?")

In other news, I continue to be incapable of reading books (or articles, or paragraphs, or anything because what is attention span) which is why I have about a thousand started and in various states of completion. I'm slightly better at watching things, and have made my way through much of Richard Armitage's filmography (Spooks, Strike Back, and currently Robin Hood) and I also sobbed my way through Being Human (UK).

But basically, my supply of squee seems to have petered out (except for brief moments where I start dancing in my bedroom and everything is awesome, which, what?)

Oh, and I've discovered Macklemore's The Heist album and want to cuddle it forever.

In conclusion: the status quo continues and I might just die here.

Quote of the Day: Clive Barker, here (as quoted by Neil Gaiman)

If you get loud, everyone else gets louder to top you. And then everyone's shouting and nobody's listening. If you want everyone to listen to you, get quieter. People will listen.

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