bending_sickle | Have you heard this little joke?* (Reply)

It's been ages since I last wrote a proper post. Weeks, even. Hoenstly, there's not been all that much going on, and what has is either work-related or stuff I'd rather not remember. The work-related stuff invovles a lot of reading and writing and feeling-the-crunching, because the publication we're working on now has a very real, very close deadline. But it's getting done, and even if I just have one more week to work on it, it will be okay. *zens out*

As for the stuff I'd rather not remember, it was the usual chaos and emotional fucked-up-edness of parents-child-relationships. The wonderful thing about not wanting to remember such things is that I end up really not remembering it, because my memory vault is strong (even though it leaks occasionally). Point is, last weekend was one of those days where verything blows up and we all end up shouting and crying at the table in the restaurant and it takes the rest of the weekend to get some sort of emotional recovery. I just want to say that things are better now - or at least we've all moved forward - and I would have been a blubbering, wrecked mess if it hadn't been for

seschat. So, just ♥

I read this post by Tumblr's crowleyismyco-pilot (who is awesome) on the why behind her love and adoration for all things Mark Sheppard (except possibly it wasn't this post but one like it or maybe I just can't remmeber things anymore), and has finally pushed me into writing about something I've been meaning to write about for a while. (Except, of course, I realize now that I've already written about it all here).

In her post, she says, "Basically, Mark Sheppard is my safe place," and this is exactly what daydreams - crushes, fantasies, whatever form they take - are all about. They're about helping you cope.

I daydream. Always have, always will. And I mean always. All the time. Walking down the street, falling asleep, waiting for the elevator, brushing my teeth - no moment is too short. I do a lot of coping through daydreams. Coping and expressing and handling emotions and exploring reactions and trying to figure out what I'd do and who I am. I do that by exploring plot themes, and sometimes my safe place might involve not being safe at all.

I don't know where I'm going with this post - especially now that I see I've already written at length about it before - and also considering I started this two weeks ago. But. I can remember at least three recent situations or storylines I've gone through in my head - and I'm generally loath to use the term "daydreaming" because that always makes it sound like it's all puppies and kittens and Mary Sues - where things have not gone well.

The general theme is the main character - let's call her Psyche, because while she's not necessarily me, she's the point-of-view of the whole story - has to defend her humanity, or innocence, or the fact that she belongs somewhere and please not to be killed or locked up or whatever. I'm talking being in a devil's trap and having to convince the Winchesters that she's not a demon, or being on Galactica and have to convince Adama and Singh that she's not a cylon. That sort of thing, where all she has is her word and her impossible knowledge of where she is. Not happy times, and it doesn't always work. (Funny twist when the holy water smoked, for example, or when there's really no way to prove she's not a cylon without vivisection coming into play. And anything she knows, if they can corroborate it, is useless, and if they can't, is a lie.) I have no idea why my Psyche thinks going through these situations and emotions and having to defend herself as a human being is actually necessary.

I've also written, deleted, rewritten, rinse-and-repeat me trying to start to explain the storyline for the situation I've been thinking about since about December. It's just...it's not a bad story in itself, and it's not terribly embarrassing, I think, and yet I can't figure out how to write it or present it or whatnot. So. I might get around to writing it down here sometime, because I really do like where it's going, but eh.

In other, fannish, news:
- Ringer wins all the things, including my heart.
- Torchwood: Miracle Day was an excercise of meh-ness concluding in one final burst of "oh no you di'n't" (with a little bit of "Care Bear Stare saves the day, again" facepalming).
- Doctor Who's "The Girl Who Waited" broke my heart into a million little pieces.
- I'll be missing Supernatural's 7x01 next week, which means that a) I get to wait two more weeks until Ye Great Emotional Car Crash, b) I'll get to watch 7x01 and 7x02 back-to-back, and c) I'll be gone when the internet implodes. None of this is actually good.

Quote of the Day:

greygirlbeast, here

My head is all fire and fucking molten nails this morning. I am the Good Ship Righteous Fucking Indignation. My threshold for douchebags will stand at zero for the foreseeable future. We're talking hellfire-and-brimstone Old Testament shit. Today, I am the nastiest pirate ship that ever plowed the Seven, and we're out for blood, and there will be rape and pillaging and cities will burn, just because.

Links of the Day:
Supernatural:

yaya_wr8t3r's Meta Why is it easier to forgive Castiel and not Sam?

captainlon's Report VanCon 2011: The Misha Cruise

fiercelynormal's GIFs Season 6 Gag Reel

dean_sam's flocked Extended The French Mistake Clips

mia6363's Fic Guardian Angel, and Life's Other Ironies

inktrain's Fic No one taes your freedom

princess_schez's Fic As Time Goes By

seschat's Fanmix (WIP) Again, As Before, Alone

obeyshi's Fanmix Broken and Realigned

mizra's Fanmix I'm a fine liner teaster ; Picspam Dean in The End, with quotes - ♥

gluisa88's Fanvid I wish you the best

rumrouz's Fanvid This is war

gnev_ishtar's Fanvid When my time comes

toranoko's Fanvid Bye Bye Bye - *NSYNC and yet, somehow, it works

ash48's Fanvid I like the way you move
Cloudyvisions' Video DragonCon - Supernatural Panel, Part 1 f 6 - Quality is excelleeeeent.
Songineverheard's Video Misha crashing Sebastian's panel (and the kiss)
Ilovehatemycity's Video Interview Misha Collins, Part 1 of 3

Tumblr's Unnatural Series
Crowleyismyco-pilot's Meta Crowley's not "just" a demon ; Doctor Who Crossover GIF and Fic As they say in my time, the beat goes on., *waves*
Seschat's GIF and Meta What happened to you, Cas?

Newton_pulsifer's Doctor Who crossover GIF I am a Voice Interface

Eastcollins' Text The story behind the picture. - That "fan staring into Misha's eyes" picture we all envy.

Notalprechaun's Reaction and Meta to Season 7 Spoilers - SPOILERS, obviously.

Atomicblonde's GIF and Lyrics And I wake up and I wake up and you're still dead

Lameassmadeupmaidenname's Meta Contrary to popular belief, if Castiel were to fall and become human... ; Meta Find out which character the fans like, and make sure that the main character never crosses them.

Ranting about S6 of Supernatural and plotholes and things

*applauds*

Misha's GISHWHES tweet

Oxymoronish' Twittercap Misha's GISHWHES tweet, #2

Doctor Who:

redscharlach's Fantext Future of Doctor Who "Literally Uncertain"

Lameassmadeupmaidenname's Angel Crossover Fanart and Fic You are not of this world. ; Fanart and Fic Time Crash Remix ; Fanart Why he closed the door

Tacoface's John Barrowman unhappy with Torchwood sex scene complaints

Sherlock:

Seschat's GIF and Quote The story of Sherlock Holmes...

Oxymoronish's Fanvid A peppy video with peppy background music

Other Fandom:

marylou_gr's A Song of Fire and Ice Fanmix You Cut Her Hair

starsburn's Twilight Fanmix Bones By the Fire
Wired's Why Alphas is better than Heroes

Lameassmadeupmaidenname's BtVS AU Fic [Drabble] If Tara, not Willow, was Buffy’s friend ; Angel Fanvid Nothing We Do Matters - ;_;

Atomicblonde's Lord of the Rings Fanart [Facing off the Witchking]

Multifandom:

Newton_pulsifer's Masterpost - Doctor Who, Harry Potter

Random:

akzseinga's Collaborative Meta Meme We love the women that the fandom hates

lienne's Fictional TV Show, "Morningstar" - Le win!
Alternet's 10 Myths Many Religious People Hold About Atheists, Debunked
The Current Conscience's A Message to Women from a Man: You Are Not "Crazy" - "Gaslighting is a term, often used by mental health professionals (I am not one), to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy." If you want to see me get hysterical, tell me I'm being hysterical and I'll snap.
Social Phobia Inventory (Test) - I scored 30, where 21-30 is "Mild Social Anxiety". So not really all that mild.