You gave up everything you had.*
Nov. 19th, 2008 12:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bending_sickleSocial life, I has it not. That's because I'm on the last week of my SBB course - thank all the gods everywhere - and we're working out butts off with the Project Management assignment (today was a 9:00-5:30 marathon) and also squeezing in some Law assignment.
I'm having a blast, though, because I love my PM group. There's us two responsible girls who guide the rowdy three boys into what we need to do. That's not saying the guys aren't working - they totally are - but that they're boys and get easily distracted by conversations about James Bond and sex and football. Most of my work recently has been with Reni, who's studying Forensics at Univ. of Amsterdam and is from Curacao. We have a total blast poking fun at each other. I loves it \o/
I'm also trying to round up papers, forms, signatures, information on visas and vaccines and absolutely cursing the fact that an on-site advisor for the Amboseli Lion Project sent us comments on the proposal. Not peeved at the comments, just peeved that I've been editing the "honstly, it's final this time" version for two months now. Let it go, people. I want to stop editing the sucker. I'm sick of it. I'm comlpetely ignoring your "Ooh, this section is a repetition of that section" or "Why not summarize this whole thing?" comments because it's been over and done and fixed and triple-fixed since the first week of October. Death to proposal comments.
By the way, Examination Board is totally allowing me to go to Kenya now. Gloria's seen reason at last. Just need to get in the forms (which, like, when?!?), but yays.
I've been getting more jabs than a pin cushion at a dressmaker's. Yesterday I had the second (pink!) shot for rabies and for the first time in quite possibly my whole like I observed the injection from start to finish. I also was a total geek and took a photo of the site afterwards. (My camera's sucking up some electric juices at the mo', so no picture for you! ...sorry.)
The nurse said the reaction could be worse. Which means more making grr-arghy Nosferatu claws at my forearms and grimacing. It also means more lymph-node action, which translates to bigger and bouncier bazoombas. Kinda awesome, that :D
Unless the boomin' bazoombas are because I'm turning into some horrible lard monster.
In pilates class, there's this move where we lie on our side, lifting the topmost leg, topmost hand on our thigh, the other outstrethed on the floor under our heads, and we're supposed to lift our torso along with our leg, sliding our hands down our thigh. I call it the Beached Seal move. Don't believe me? Lookit! Seal!
Unfortunately, there's some balance involved, or there is in my case, what with my legs being all non-cooperative. So I end up falling on my face or back, flapping upwards, feeling awful and lardy.
And boy-o, checking out the bazoombas and the curves - now with added generosity! - I'm just so much more...more. I've got a balance** in my room, which I used to used quite regular, until it stopped being \o/ and became D: and now whenever I step on the bastard all I can say it, "You lying liar who lies!" 'Cause that's better than the alternative.
I know I've been eating sucktastically these past weeks, or even months. Sandwiches, caffeteria food, vending machine snacks because omg I haven't eaten all day and there's only 4 different kit kats and paprika chips, all at totally random hours of the day. But I've also been the most active in ages, what with the gym and daily bike rides to and fro.
I'm just real bummed about it. (Shut up, pun.) I was displeased with the flab before, and now it's like, zomg, whyyyyy?
So I'm watching Season 3 now. \o/ Just finished 3x02 The Kids Are Alright, which features this sort of monster. Compare to the lamprey, nasty, evil, squirmy, snot-making***, knot-making, cavity-entering fish. It's actually kinda neat that they did that.
Y'know, I don't care for kids. I don't go all gooey over them. Children even often make me uncomfortable, like I'm at risk of being bullied or something. I just...yeah, I don't gush.
That said, there's something about Dean Winchester hanging out with kids that makes me squee and d'aww and want to snuggle them both. It's adorable! They're just sitting there, all cute! Cuteness combined! Season 1 adorableness! High five!
However, this:
may be, hands down, the most adorable cap in this episode. No kids, just Dean's reaction, but omg *snuggles and sporfles at the same time*
Which brings me to the main thing I drew from this episode. Dean would make a great dad. And I am incredibly thrilled and heartbroken by this. First off, remember, I don't care for kids, and by extension, never really think about who'd make a great parent or whatnot. So this line of thought is new for me.
And Dean's of that mind too. Look at him all wistful for dad-status.
But I think it's this tragedy of lost potential, which y'all know is basically my kind of crack, that really gets to me.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fandomsecrets explains better than I can:
The guy's giving up his life - metaphorical, literal, all -icals - for this cause, and all he can do is put a brave face on. And we know he wants a normal life - see What Is and What Should Never Be - but not at the cost of the cause.
And I admire him more for that than I ever did Angel or Buffy or others of that ilk. He's like Firefly's Simon: hats off to the both of them. (Who, it must be noted, are laregly motivated by their younger siblings. Coincidence? Probably.) That's...oh gods, that really is a hero. It's like what people say about being brave - that you have to be afraid to be brave, else you're just suicidal or psychotic or confident or whatnot. These two just warm my oft-misanthropic heart.
So there was thisfandomsecrets:
which I can relate to and can explain that because of what I've said above. That it breaks my heart and makes me respect them tremendously for choosing such a course in life, for sticking to their guns even when - especially when - they would rather not, when it breaks them just a little more to Do The Right Thing. Life needs to give these guys a break!
I'll let quotes from SPN 2x20 and Firefly 1x01, 05 speak for me, because I'm just not thinking straight. I ought to write this out better, and I might, but here ya go for now.
My brain does very strange song mixes, meshing lyrics, melodies and utter randomness. You may recall the I like... list.
The latest?
To the tune of Human League's Don't You Want Me for the first line and The Beatles And I Love Her for the next two lines. It totally works, yo.
Links of the Day are waaaaaay behind but it's already the wee hours so I'm a-gonna sleep, Heroes be-damned. It can wait. (You hear me, Heroes?!? That's how disappointed and non-squeeing I am with you of late. You're on the flipping back-burner, you are.)
* River Tam, Firefly
** I'm totally just translating that from the Spanish, aren't I? It's that thing you step on to see how much you weigh. My brain, it is fried.
*** I found a video but I lost it. Trust me, though, these buggers produce buckets of mucous in mere seconds.
I'm having a blast, though, because I love my PM group. There's us two responsible girls who guide the rowdy three boys into what we need to do. That's not saying the guys aren't working - they totally are - but that they're boys and get easily distracted by conversations about James Bond and sex and football. Most of my work recently has been with Reni, who's studying Forensics at Univ. of Amsterdam and is from Curacao. We have a total blast poking fun at each other. I loves it \o/
I'm also trying to round up papers, forms, signatures, information on visas and vaccines and absolutely cursing the fact that an on-site advisor for the Amboseli Lion Project sent us comments on the proposal. Not peeved at the comments, just peeved that I've been editing the "honstly, it's final this time" version for two months now. Let it go, people. I want to stop editing the sucker. I'm sick of it. I'm comlpetely ignoring your "Ooh, this section is a repetition of that section" or "Why not summarize this whole thing?" comments because it's been over and done and fixed and triple-fixed since the first week of October. Death to proposal comments.
By the way, Examination Board is totally allowing me to go to Kenya now. Gloria's seen reason at last. Just need to get in the forms (which, like, when?!?), but yays.
I've been getting more jabs than a pin cushion at a dressmaker's. Yesterday I had the second (pink!) shot for rabies and for the first time in quite possibly my whole like I observed the injection from start to finish. I also was a total geek and took a photo of the site afterwards. (My camera's sucking up some electric juices at the mo', so no picture for you! ...sorry.)
The nurse said the reaction could be worse. Which means more making grr-arghy Nosferatu claws at my forearms and grimacing. It also means more lymph-node action, which translates to bigger and bouncier bazoombas. Kinda awesome, that :D
Unless the boomin' bazoombas are because I'm turning into some horrible lard monster.
In pilates class, there's this move where we lie on our side, lifting the topmost leg, topmost hand on our thigh, the other outstrethed on the floor under our heads, and we're supposed to lift our torso along with our leg, sliding our hands down our thigh. I call it the Beached Seal move. Don't believe me? Lookit! Seal!
Unfortunately, there's some balance involved, or there is in my case, what with my legs being all non-cooperative. So I end up falling on my face or back, flapping upwards, feeling awful and lardy.
And boy-o, checking out the bazoombas and the curves - now with added generosity! - I'm just so much more...more. I've got a balance** in my room, which I used to used quite regular, until it stopped being \o/ and became D: and now whenever I step on the bastard all I can say it, "You lying liar who lies!" 'Cause that's better than the alternative.
I know I've been eating sucktastically these past weeks, or even months. Sandwiches, caffeteria food, vending machine snacks because omg I haven't eaten all day and there's only 4 different kit kats and paprika chips, all at totally random hours of the day. But I've also been the most active in ages, what with the gym and daily bike rides to and fro.
I'm just real bummed about it. (Shut up, pun.) I was displeased with the flab before, and now it's like, zomg, whyyyyy?
So I'm watching Season 3 now. \o/ Just finished 3x02 The Kids Are Alright, which features this sort of monster. Compare to the lamprey, nasty, evil, squirmy, snot-making***, knot-making, cavity-entering fish. It's actually kinda neat that they did that.
Y'know, I don't care for kids. I don't go all gooey over them. Children even often make me uncomfortable, like I'm at risk of being bullied or something. I just...yeah, I don't gush.
That said, there's something about Dean Winchester hanging out with kids that makes me squee and d'aww and want to snuggle them both. It's adorable! They're just sitting there, all cute! Cuteness combined! Season 1 adorableness! High five!
However, this:
may be, hands down, the most adorable cap in this episode. No kids, just Dean's reaction, but omg *snuggles and sporfles at the same time*
Which brings me to the main thing I drew from this episode. Dean would make a great dad. And I am incredibly thrilled and heartbroken by this. First off, remember, I don't care for kids, and by extension, never really think about who'd make a great parent or whatnot. So this line of thought is new for me.
And Dean's of that mind too. Look at him all wistful for dad-status.
Deand: Okay. Seriously... I mean, you're a hundred percent sure that he is not mine, right?
Lisa: You're off the hook. I did a blood test when he was a baby. [...] I... I swear you look disappointed.
Dean: Yeah, I don't know. It's weird, you know your life... I mean, this house and a kid... it's not my life. Never will be. Some stuff happened to me recently, and, uh... anyway,a guy in my situation -- you start to think, you know. I'm gonna be gone one day, and what am I leaving behind besides a car? I don't know.
Lisa: Ben may not be your kid, but he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. That's a lot if you ask me.
Dean: You know, just for the record... you got a great kid. I would have been proud to be his dad.
But I think it's this tragedy of lost potential, which y'all know is basically my kind of crack, that really gets to me.
fandomsecrets explains better than I can: The guy's giving up his life - metaphorical, literal, all -icals - for this cause, and all he can do is put a brave face on. And we know he wants a normal life - see What Is and What Should Never Be - but not at the cost of the cause.
And I admire him more for that than I ever did Angel or Buffy or others of that ilk. He's like Firefly's Simon: hats off to the both of them. (Who, it must be noted, are laregly motivated by their younger siblings. Coincidence? Probably.) That's...oh gods, that really is a hero. It's like what people say about being brave - that you have to be afraid to be brave, else you're just suicidal or psychotic or confident or whatnot. These two just warm my oft-misanthropic heart.
So there was this
fandomsecrets:which I can relate to and can explain that because of what I've said above. That it breaks my heart and makes me respect them tremendously for choosing such a course in life, for sticking to their guns even when - especially when - they would rather not, when it breaks them just a little more to Do The Right Thing. Life needs to give these guys a break!
I'll let quotes from SPN 2x20 and Firefly 1x01, 05 speak for me, because I'm just not thinking straight. I ought to write this out better, and I might, but here ya go for now.
Sam Winchester: Yeah, but, Dean - it wasn't real.
Dean Winchester: I know. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I... all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. And we've sacrificed so much.
Sam Winchester: But people are alive because of you. It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and, you know, it hurts like hell, but it's worth it.
Dean Winchester: [At his father's grave] 'Course, I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball, but... "So, go hunt the djinn. It put you here, it could put you back. Your happiness, for all those peoples' lives? No contest." Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's... yeah...
River Tam: But, I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. You found me broken. It's hard for you. You gave up everything you had.
Simon Tam: Mei-mei, everything I have is right here.
Simon Tam: She is trying to tell us something that somebody doesn't want her to say.
Regan Tam: Simon, this is paranoid. It's stress. If they heard you talking like this at the hospital, it could affect your entire future.
Simon Tam: Who cares about my future?
My brain does very strange song mixes, meshing lyrics, melodies and utter randomness. You may recall the I like... list.
The latest?
You were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar
that much is true
and I love her.
To the tune of Human League's Don't You Want Me for the first line and The Beatles And I Love Her for the next two lines. It totally works, yo.
Links of the Day are waaaaaay behind but it's already the wee hours so I'm a-gonna sleep, Heroes be-damned. It can wait. (You hear me, Heroes?!? That's how disappointed and non-squeeing I am with you of late. You're on the flipping back-burner, you are.)
* River Tam, Firefly
** I'm totally just translating that from the Spanish, aren't I? It's that thing you step on to see how much you weigh. My brain, it is fried.
*** I found a video but I lost it. Trust me, though, these buggers produce buckets of mucous in mere seconds.
