bending_sickle | Depending on the city and on the traveler, there might begin a mutual love, or dislike, friendship*

so i rebelled this month and refused to sing up for another semi-intensive italian course (which i don't even know if i could have taken because i totally failed the exam for last month's course - out of some sixteen people, only four passed, and my tocaya* and i were all what the fuck happen)

the reason for such ~rebellious~ behaviour is that three hours a day, four times a week, of italian courses was sucking all the life out of me an leaving me incapable of actually addressing issues which i should be addressing, like getting the fuck out of here

so i'll be doing that

except of course i have no idea how to do that, as evidenced by the entirety of last year, because i don't know what i want at all and this is a problem because i end up applying to all the jobs and looking for residences in all the cities and it's too much

like seriously i have no idea what i want

so therapist lady is helping me with that. this week i'm going to check out cities where i wouldn't gnaw my wrists open if i were to live there, and i'm also going to check out PhD programs in case that's an option, and we'll narrow it down from there

i've also finally talked with dad and told him i'm going to therapy, and about this operation escape the nest, edition 3.0, plan i've got with therapy lady, and that went surprisingly well, so \o/

so that's why i'm typing this out instead of actually hitting up google for cities where i might pack up and go to because the thought makes me want to curl up in a corner and weep.

* Roman Payne
** spanish for "namesake", in the sense that we share the same name (not that either of us is named after the other) which leads to us grinning and cackling at each other going, "hi, [name]", "hi, [name]"