Please don't hurt me.*
Jul. 23rd, 2009 11:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bending_sickleSo I had my meeting with my supervisor today. I don't want to talk about it too much because then I'd have to think about it and I've been resolutely not doing that all day. But, a few points:
- He was more concerned with the format of things (like axes labels and discussion mixed with results) than with analysis. (Which means that he failed to understand that this was not a final draft of the results section at all and not to be taken that way. It was a progress report.)
- Some of his questions I could directly answer by turning a page in my report and pointing.
- He actually seemed disappointed I hadn't done transects outside of the park or collected scat, completely failing to understand the amount of work and time that would've taken. (To say nothing of the, "Uh, I can't pick up lion shit just anywhere and the only shit I saw was the recently-excreted, lions-are-right-there kind.")
- He's suggested (better, more appropriate) ways of grouping the data which result in my remaking everything.
- He doesn't want me to analyze until I'm old and grey, but then suggests I compare this year with last year's data, instead of the 5 months I researched. I do a double-take.
- I've done nothing right. (Nothing.)
- We have a meeting set for exactly 7 days after I arrive back from Canada. What the fuck can I have accomplished in 7 days to merit a meeting?!?
ETA - He sat there leafing through a book and then an article, supossedly loking for something that would help me, for ages. I know my time isn't work anything, but at least the illusion that you respect my time would be nice.
ETA - And when I mentioned the split-up of a pride, he was shocked! Because I haven't written about it to him in emails, reports and summaries. Right.
I almost cried at one point, and I did cry for ages in the bathroom afterwards. I felt like I had to be constantly on the defensive, trying to explain why I don't suck that much arse. Forget about my even asking him for any help on stuff. Been in powered-down, occasionally-cry, be-utterly-blank mode ever since.
In other news, I've done some online depression tests, even though they're a bunch of crap.
Screening Test: You have checked five or more symptoms of depression. If they have lasted for more than two weeks, talk to a mental health professional or doctor.
Depression Test: Your score is = 25 where Scores of 21-25 Mild Depression, Scores of 26-30 Moderate Depression
Depression Test: You worry somewhat about what people will think of you when things go wrong in your life, but not excessively. Perhaps you are sensitive in some areas or feel more vulnerable to social scrutiny on some days than others. When you do feel concerned, you may believe that others take pleasure in your problems, that they feel sorry for you, or that they are otherwise judgmental of you. Unfortunately, this attitude can lead you to feel worse about your problems than you need to. It also means that you may be less likely to seek comfort from others when you are in emotional pain.
[...] You scored 17 on the Rumination subscale. Find out what this means and whether you may be depressed simply by ordering your full test report. [Emphasis mine, to show how utter fuckwads the people who wrote a 101 question test for depression are. Fuck you, fuck you hard.]
Depression Test: 21 points where 16-25: Moderate chronic depression - you face a constant battle against despairing, sad and unhappy feelings.
Current goal: Making the bed.
Hours failing to achieve current goal: 6
Concern over failure: 0
ETA: Bed made at 1:09 am
Worry over: packing tomorrow
Glee over trip across the pond: 0
Quotes of the Day:
Links of the Day:
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ale_la_pazza1's Multifandom Picspam: Top 10 Favorite Scenes
evancalous's Pinto, the computer-generated love child of Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto - Unf.
aelora's Fanfics
- He was more concerned with the format of things (like axes labels and discussion mixed with results) than with analysis. (Which means that he failed to understand that this was not a final draft of the results section at all and not to be taken that way. It was a progress report.)
- Some of his questions I could directly answer by turning a page in my report and pointing.
- He actually seemed disappointed I hadn't done transects outside of the park or collected scat, completely failing to understand the amount of work and time that would've taken. (To say nothing of the, "Uh, I can't pick up lion shit just anywhere and the only shit I saw was the recently-excreted, lions-are-right-there kind.")
- He's suggested (better, more appropriate) ways of grouping the data which result in my remaking everything.
- He doesn't want me to analyze until I'm old and grey, but then suggests I compare this year with last year's data, instead of the 5 months I researched. I do a double-take.
- I've done nothing right. (Nothing.)
- We have a meeting set for exactly 7 days after I arrive back from Canada. What the fuck can I have accomplished in 7 days to merit a meeting?!?
ETA - He sat there leafing through a book and then an article, supossedly loking for something that would help me, for ages. I know my time isn't work anything, but at least the illusion that you respect my time would be nice.
ETA - And when I mentioned the split-up of a pride, he was shocked! Because I haven't written about it to him in emails, reports and summaries. Right.
I almost cried at one point, and I did cry for ages in the bathroom afterwards. I felt like I had to be constantly on the defensive, trying to explain why I don't suck that much arse. Forget about my even asking him for any help on stuff. Been in powered-down, occasionally-cry, be-utterly-blank mode ever since.
In other news, I've done some online depression tests, even though they're a bunch of crap.
Screening Test: You have checked five or more symptoms of depression. If they have lasted for more than two weeks, talk to a mental health professional or doctor.
Depression Test: Your score is = 25 where Scores of 21-25 Mild Depression, Scores of 26-30 Moderate Depression
Depression Test: You worry somewhat about what people will think of you when things go wrong in your life, but not excessively. Perhaps you are sensitive in some areas or feel more vulnerable to social scrutiny on some days than others. When you do feel concerned, you may believe that others take pleasure in your problems, that they feel sorry for you, or that they are otherwise judgmental of you. Unfortunately, this attitude can lead you to feel worse about your problems than you need to. It also means that you may be less likely to seek comfort from others when you are in emotional pain.
[...] You scored 17 on the Rumination subscale. Find out what this means and whether you may be depressed simply by ordering your full test report. [Emphasis mine, to show how utter fuckwads the people who wrote a 101 question test for depression are. Fuck you, fuck you hard.]
Depression Test: 21 points where 16-25: Moderate chronic depression - you face a constant battle against despairing, sad and unhappy feelings.
Current goal: Making the bed.
Hours failing to achieve current goal: 6
Concern over failure: 0
ETA: Bed made at 1:09 am
Worry over: packing tomorrow
Glee over trip across the pond: 0
Quotes of the Day:
Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling...People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile.
- Judith Guest
Depression is the inability to construct a future.
- Rollo May
For me being depressed means you can spend all day in bed, and still not get a good night’s rest.
- Anon. or uncredited
Links of the Day:
ale_la_pazza1's Multifandom Picspam: Top 10 Favorite Scenesevancalous's Pinto, the computer-generated love child of Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto - Unf.aelora's Fanfics
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no subject
Date: 2009-07-23 09:56 pm (UTC)*hugs you softly*
Your supervisor sounds like an ass. Do you have to actually follow his directions, though? Can you just tell him that you're considering his POV but you've already invested so much in the way things are going, that you'll just continue it? I mean, it's insane that he even suggested NOT doing the five months you actually spent in Kenya researching...
I'm sorry things are so hard right now.
xxx
Kit-Kat
no subject
Date: 2009-07-23 10:26 pm (UTC)He just...didn't address anything important. Yes, I know how to present a graph, but we're not dealing with that at the moment. If it looks like I'm analyzing everything six ways from Sunday it's because I don't know what I'm doing and you should help me with that, not axes.
*facepalm*
*surrepticiously snuggles up to you*
no subject
Date: 2009-07-24 09:38 pm (UTC)Your supervisor is a bizarre person.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-24 10:33 pm (UTC)*sleepwalking snuggles*
no subject
Date: 2009-07-24 10:40 pm (UTC)