Just give me something to break.*
Feb. 4th, 2008 10:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bending_sickleI am so infredibly frustrated right now I could use some throwing and bashing and breaking entertainment. Three fucking minutes to open a webpage, white-screen of death more often than not, things just bloody disappearing off the screen. It's been going on for hours! *raaaawr*
I'm also in pain. My right knee and hip ache like a mother since this afternoon's pointless walk. I had to go the entire length of a street in Leiden to finally find the hidden door to the dance school. It was, approriately, locked. Also, I'm not going because I lack a partner. Fuck you, salsa.
There's also a bit of "hurt baby sister" because my brother didn't take kindly to my mentioning he's actually "omg hit thirty". I'm still picking out shards of hurt from this gaping chest cavity. Said comment was both preceeded and followed by our usual communication: *silence A* *silence B*
Then talking with mom! Oh fucking gods. Nothing was really said, it was just an experiment in conducting frustration straight through cable. Fuck! Imagine the antithesis of a cheerleader who is still rooting for you. Like, dunno, someone's throwing rocks at you and laying you heavy with chains and all the while saying, "Oh come on, you can do it!" And your brain's too befuddled at this newfangled concept of actually talking to people for you to express how you feel. Not that you know that either.
I'm also bored and headachey and just want to throw myself against the walls, fists flying. I'm actually too angry to let myself cry.
And I was so fucking happy this morning, too. My step was springing and everything.
I'd say that I'm thisclose to packing it all up and being a sheep farmer in Australia - aka. "as far from shit as shit can get" - but the scary thing is that I currently have absolutely no plans or desires or even vague idea of what I want in the future.
*battlecry* *crashboombang*
* Limp Bizkit, "Break Stuff"
I'm also in pain. My right knee and hip ache like a mother since this afternoon's pointless walk. I had to go the entire length of a street in Leiden to finally find the hidden door to the dance school. It was, approriately, locked. Also, I'm not going because I lack a partner. Fuck you, salsa.
There's also a bit of "hurt baby sister" because my brother didn't take kindly to my mentioning he's actually "omg hit thirty". I'm still picking out shards of hurt from this gaping chest cavity. Said comment was both preceeded and followed by our usual communication: *silence A* *silence B*
Then talking with mom! Oh fucking gods. Nothing was really said, it was just an experiment in conducting frustration straight through cable. Fuck! Imagine the antithesis of a cheerleader who is still rooting for you. Like, dunno, someone's throwing rocks at you and laying you heavy with chains and all the while saying, "Oh come on, you can do it!" And your brain's too befuddled at this newfangled concept of actually talking to people for you to express how you feel. Not that you know that either.
I'm also bored and headachey and just want to throw myself against the walls, fists flying. I'm actually too angry to let myself cry.
And I was so fucking happy this morning, too. My step was springing and everything.
I'd say that I'm thisclose to packing it all up and being a sheep farmer in Australia - aka. "as far from shit as shit can get" - but the scary thing is that I currently have absolutely no plans or desires or even vague idea of what I want in the future.
*battlecry* *crashboombang*
* Limp Bizkit, "Break Stuff"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 10:08 pm (UTC)sometimes i really don't like your family.
i mean, they seem to mean well. but... well, fuck. :(
xxx
kit-kat
no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 10:12 pm (UTC)♥
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Date: 2008-02-04 10:19 pm (UTC)Shit, man. I... just... shit.
This is the only appropriate comment here.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 10:38 pm (UTC)xxx
kit
no subject
Date: 2008-02-04 10:52 pm (UTC)"Why hallo-o there, Mr. Diesel!"
This is the internets: the writer of this comment is currently and indefinately indisposed. She looks pretty happy about this.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 05:26 am (UTC)Aw hon, what a day =( T_T It decided to kick you while you were down. *Shakes fist in the air*