bending_sickle | You don't need to find answers for questions never asked of you.*

I just did some quick math and realized that I am in fact turning 25 this year. That can't be right. Ok, shock and horror at forgetting my own age, and further shock and horror at being freakin' 25. The shock and the horror, man.

In other news, I went out grocery shopping and got only like 2% of what was on my shopping list. So that's swell. And then I get to get all miserable and wibbley over my microwave chicken because of what mom said yesterday.

Well, she said a few things yesterday, like my being nearly 25. But the thing that really struck me and hurt, because she doesn't seem to understand what this whole internship thing means in regards to time-sucking, was that I didn't do anything. Granted, procrastination and I are good friends, but I get work done or sit there trying to do it. And if that's not being done, I *gasp* go out. And she's the one who's been berating and begging for me to get a social life. And now she's all, why aren't you up at 7 am organizing you're "I just moved in" room or working? This internship, time-wise, is or should be like a full-time job. And I've got another course on top of that, not "only one course a week", but I repeat, in addition to.

So when my mother says I don't do shit and no wonder I don't have a job, I just flail. Being a full-time student cuts down on the job opportunities. And don't give me none of that lip about how Other People can do it either. Other People can do lots of things.

And forgive me for not having investigated yet about jobs for the summer, I kind of have an internship project to finish. (And when that's done, I need to think about the second one, which is something I ought to have set up already.) And of course, there's the Not Having a Clue about what I want to work in. Or what I could work in, especially for the summer. I went to that "How to get a job in the Netherlands" conference, and while informative, didn't really go into the whole, "Deciding where to start looking" thing. Just dove right into the, "So you have a list of places you'd like, start doing some research into them' bit.

And my folks where ~~heavily hinting~~ fantasizing about my working in the EU. ~~Then why the fuck am I doing this Masters?!?~~ Yes, convenient life - once you're in, you're set - but I don't know what I could do there. And if my greatest plus for that is my languages, rather than my Masters... I don't know if that's what I want to do because I don't even know what that is and I'm going to be fuckign 25 this fall and still dependent on my folks and that's just shit, man. Hello Parasitic Sickle.

I'm stopping now because the wibble's grown into the wet kind of wibble.

* "Two More Years", Bloc Party (lyrics)