How about a hug for the ol' ALFer.*
Apr. 4th, 2008 11:20 pmThe only way I can remember the last time I was outside is by going through calendar events, and even then I can't remember being outside. I haven't managed to work at all and I can't concentrate or anything. I haven't seen anyone in ages either, cooped up as I've been, just sitting at my desk trying to put 2 and 2 together. And I'm just going batshit here. Total fucking nutso. I'm all a frustrated wibble ball of tantrum feet. My head hurts. I really, really need to put my presentation together tomorrow. All of it. And I can't and I'm just... I can't fucking do anything anymore. And this coming week's going tobe hell, what with ma coming and then presentation, and with the signing of the lease and laying down of cash, and the "How to get a job in the Netherlands" meet and the hip hop. All of these things in the wee hours of the morning - most of 'em anyways. And I can't even remember to brush my goddamn teeth most of the days, how am I going to trudge through this shitfest? I just can't focus or deal with anything anymore. Why am I made of fail? I ought to wake up early tomorrow and workworkwork and finally just have the shit done and then... I dunno. Project's first draft is due in 2 weeks. I am so unbelievably fucked and I just can't bring myselef to care enough to do something about it beyond worry blahishly and then wibble. Oh gods, I fail at life, I really do. I haven't been out of my room in days... And I turned down a social today because I had to work but I totally didn't really and it's all a bit fat fucking mess and I don't understand economics! Cabin fever! But it's late and I need to do stuff tomorrow and I'm not going to be able to talk coherently for 45 minutes, I know I'm not and how am I even going to do it, logistically, I mean, I need to pick up ma and go to Leiden and print shit and set up for the seminar and when's that all going to be done? Needs rent a bike, maybe. Well fuck me sideways, I'm weeping. I am so disappointed in myself it's horrific.
ETA: *hyperventilates*
ETA2: I'm going to bed now. I can breathe again. (Sort of. Kind of forgetting to breathe out now.) Can't think.
* ALF (1986)
ETA: *hyperventilates*
ETA2: I'm going to bed now. I can breathe again. (Sort of. Kind of forgetting to breathe out now.) Can't think.
* ALF (1986)
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Date: 2008-04-04 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-05 08:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-05 01:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-04 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-05 08:34 am (UTC)*hugs right back*