The purpose of fear is to raise your awareness not to stop your progress.*

have just emailed research proposal to prof person. *cue screaming*

i am still nowhere near the actual official application process or am i because prof person’s asked for my transcripts and references and now the proposal and that’s shit that goes in the application.

so on the one hand i feel like i’ve gotten a lot done but on the other hand nothing is actually official so nothing matters and i could very well not get accepted and then i would die. (no, seriously, you guys, like i have one sad little egg in one tiny little basket and it’s hanging off over the edge of a volcano and the string it’s hanging from is so so so thin and i am freaking out)

and then if i do get accepted there’s the whole grant fuckery (how does that work why would people give me money what do i have to do i can’t handle this) and then there’s of course the actual visa shit and then and then and then

i am a distressed velociraptor


* Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free