I'm a lonely little petunia...*

[bending_sickle]

...in an onion patch.*

Today has been a pretty shit day. I've had the attention span of a week-old mayfly (think on it a mo') and the anxiety of a well-shaken rat all day.

I couldn't follow a word of my stats class this morning, and the programming session** just faded into "?". Likewise, I can't read a single paragraph off my stats book without zoning off, or skimming, or wondering what the hell they're going on about and then just not caring. I don't understand anything at all that we're doing - I mean, I can follow the logic, but that's about it. I wouldn't know what to do with the numbers if they were handed over to me.

I've been getting teary as well. Then Ma' called to tell me that I've done fuck all ever and am, basically, a useless waste of resources. Not a happy conversation.

I don't think I can do this, any of it. Not stats, not research, not getting-of-Masters-degree, not nothing.


* ibid song, nursery rhyme adapted by Imogen Heap
** All I've learnt is that meaning.of.life<-42

Comments

[blizzardcake.livejournal.com]

Take it one day at a time sweetie :) I find thinking too much about the things I have to do makes me want to crawl under a rock! wtf moments are part of the Master's experience I think... I should find that comic I once had about nobody really knowing what on earth is going on!

*many huggs and support*