bending_sickle | Shut the fuck up* (Reply)

so i’m waiting on slavic lady therapist person to reply, right? and my bro calls (a-fucking-gain) and is all why don’t you just call her and why didn’t you send your email to both the addresses you had and jesus at the rate you’re going to which i snapped because you do not get to fucking tell me how to do this, not a single fucking thing about this. i’m the one doing it and it’s for my mental whatsit and if i want to take a fucking week to email the lady and categorically refuse to call her on the phone until all other avenues have been exhausted then BACK THE FUCK OFF and let me work my shit my own way you are NOT FUCKING HELPING by telling me how much i’m sucking at doing this and your “it’s not that hard” is BULLSHIT.

see, my bro doesn’t so much support me as keep poking me in the back to get me to do shit. which, yeah, sometimes good, but sometimes not so good at all.

and now my mom (who doesn’t know about any of this, according to my bro) is on the phone with him crying about how horrible i am and how i’m not planning on doing anything ever (which the fuck do you know) and how i’m such a monster and a failure and oh woes is her and i just

because i have spent my entire life listening to her cry at me about how she regrets all her life decisions (hello i’m one of them and so’s my dad thanks mom) and her not giving a shit about any of my worries (crying never solves anything so shut the fuck up girl basically)

and i just don’t have the spare energy anymore (that emotional account has been fucking drained) or right now to give a shit about her and her oh woes is me my daughter is horrible because i am hanging on by my fucking fingernails here

* Common expression