*GLOMPS* It's so good to have you back! And I do imagine Chicago being an awesome experience. Also, yay for TFSB AND NOW I WANT A COPY, TOO. :D
As for the blurb, the first paragraph is fine, but the 'because' indeed sounds a bit - awkward? - to me, but what do I know. ;p
Perhaps, "After all, surviving...with an Angel of Punishment tracking them down"? Generally, I'd say the combination with 'with' sounds better, but if you leave the sentence as it is right now, 'when' and 'is' feels like the better choice.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-20 01:37 pm (UTC)As for the blurb, the first paragraph is fine, but the 'because' indeed sounds a bit - awkward? - to me, but what do I know. ;p
Perhaps, "After all, surviving...with an Angel of Punishment tracking them down"? Generally, I'd say the combination with 'with' sounds better, but if you leave the sentence as it is right now, 'when' and 'is' feels like the better choice.
Just my own two cents. :)
*loves you ad infinitum* ♥