She was just that kind of girl.*

[bending_sickle]

Dear blizzardcake,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped at the mental hospital and I saw you put leeches on my fart balloon. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your love letters to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget to hate the Boston Celtics.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,

Sickle

Mad libs letter meme via qthewetsprocket

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your LJ),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - our romance is over
Red - our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - you're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - your nostrils are insulting
Brown - the mafia wants you
No shirt - you're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?

January - that night
February - last year
March - when your dwarf bit me
April - when I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - when you put cuffs on me
July - when I threw up
August - when I saw the shrunken head
September - when we skinny dipped
October - when I quoted Santa
November - when your dog ran amok
December - when I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?

Tacos - in your apartment
Pizza - in your camping car
Pasta - outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - under the bus
Salad - as you ate enchilada
Chicken - in your closet
Kebab - with Paris Hilton
Fish - in women's clothing
Sandwiches - at the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - at the mental hospital
Hot dog - under a state of trance
Other - with George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - hit on
Red - insult
Black - ignore
Blue - knock out
Purple - pour syrup on
White - carve your initials into
Grey - pull the clothes off
Brown - put leeches on
Orange - castrate
Pink - pull the toupee off
Barefoot - sit at
Other - drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?

Black - my best friend
White - my father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - my fart balloon
Purple - my mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - my avocado plant
Yellow - my penpal in Ghana
Orange - my Kid Rock-collection
Pink - manchester United's goalkeeper
None - my John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - the crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?

Scrubs - man
O.C. - emotional
One Tree Hill - open
Heroes - frostbitten
Lost - high
House - scarred
Simpsons - cowardly
The news - mongolic
Idol - masochistic
Family Guy - senile
Top Model - middle-class
Other - ashamed

7. Your mood right now?

Happy - how awful I've felt
Sad - how boring you are
Bored - that Santa doesn't exist
Angry - that your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - that there is no solution to this.
Nervous - the middle-east
Worried - that your Honda sucks
Apathetic - that I did a sex-change
Ashamed - that I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - that I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - that I'm open
Other - that Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - your ring
Yellow - your love letters
Red - your Darth Vader-poster
Black - your tame stone
Blue - the couch cushions
Green - the pictures from LA
Orange - your false teeth
Brown - your contact book
Grey - our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - your old lottery coupons
Pink - the cut toenails
Other - your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?

A/B - your photo
C/D - the oil stocks
E/F - your neighbour Martin
G/H - my virginity
I/J - your nipple ring
K/L - your left ear
M/N - your lab results
O/P - my common sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - your collection of butterflies
U/V - your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?

A/B - always will remember
C/D - never will forget
E/F - always wanted to break
G/H - never openly mocked
I/J - always have felt dirty before
K/L - will tell the authorities about
M/N - told in my confession today about
O/P - was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - told my psychiatrist about
S/T - get sick when I think of
U/V - always will try to forget
W/X - am better off without
Y/Z - never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?

Water- our friendship
Beer - senility
Soft drink - a new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - the apartment building
Wine - cocaine abuse
Cider - a passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - to ruin the second world war
Other - to hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - F*** off now
France - In pain

Meme: Fictional Characters You Wouldn't Kick Out of Bed, via qthewetsprocket, who says, anyway, i tried very hard not to base this entirely on the actors who played them, but am coming up fail. The same applies here.

In no particular order, those Not-Kick-Out-of-Bed Worthy:

1. Sam Tyler, Life on Mars - But we knew that already...

2. The Master, New Doctor Who - (Trend, what trend?) Because a) hawt and b) I don't think you could kick him out of bed without incurring substantial damage to yourself.

3. Jack Harkness, Torchwood/Doctor Who - Verbatim from qthewetsprocket: physically he's not my type at all, but seriously, can you imagine all the good sex tricks he knows? plus i reckon we'd laugh a lot during and after, which is always fun. How could you say no to that?

4. Zane!Sylar, Heroes - Why Zane-version? Because coaxing Gabriel to do anything would take ages and while Real!Sylar's hot as all, somehow the serial killer thing gets in the way**. Doesn't mean I wouldn't ever do full-on Sylar, just that I'd have to think about it for two seconds.

5. The Doctor, aka Ten, Doctor Who - Because he's everything.

6. Mickey, Doctor Who- Because, man, he's like, nice?

7. Tim Bisley, Spaced - 'Cause, um...geek love?

8. Desmond, Lost - The...accent?

9. Riddick, Chronicles of - Because you do not pass up on that. I think. I don't knooooow!

10. Kensei, Heroes - Because he's hot and English?

These things suck, man. I can never come up with the right number. These memes seem to wipe out my memory of all things fandom. At the end I was just throwing random attractive men out there with an acceptable lack of crazy (having used up the crazy-quotient with the first few).

Honestly? I'm only really and truly serious about Sam and Jack (and the Master, depending on just how self-destructive I'm feeling). The other characters are either attratctive-yet-normal, insane or loaded down with so much baggage you'd drown or a right mess. I mean, sure, shaggin Ten would be splendid, but can you imagine the sort of hell you'd have to go through to get there? Or what sort of situation you'd have to be in to snag Kensei? Would you actually feel safe enough to squirm with Sylar around? And Desmond'd be all, "Oh, Penny! Penny!"

Feh. My ovaries lack inspiration and listen too much to my brain. (Which, btw, isn't doing much in the way of work.)


Links of the Day:
qthewetsprocket's John Simm in Locksmith hilarious recap and picspam
So You're Meeting Famous Folk? Convention Etiquette


* prettybutt's Lost recap
** What? The Master's a serial killer too? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the hawt.