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Oh my god, oh my sweet fucking god.
There's this Vietnamese professor who's been sitting in on my Environmental Processes class, on exchange to learn new teaching methods and mindmeld with the European scientists. Since his English isn't really up to par for the course - or any, really - some of the students, myself included, have been helping him out a bit. We've emailed a few times, him asking for help or advice and such. We call him Mister *** (which is actually his first name 'cause Vietnam writes names like China and Japan).
Lately, they've been getting weird. Like, "do not go there" weird. At first I thought, well, his English isn't so hot, and different culture and all, maybe he doesn't realize how off these things sound.
But his last email literally made me facepalm, squirm, and moan "Oh my god, no, no no!" in a vastly horrified voice.
The evolution of the emails
How it starts off:
I am very happy to meet you. I am interessted in this course. But my english is not very good, so I have a little trouble. I really need your help. Thank you very much for your note. It realy usefull for me. I will try to understand what you note.
I reply in what I hope is a friendly yet impersonal way and it continues nicely:
How is your at weekend? I would like to go around Leiden, but I must learn english at home, listening, learn new word... Because....smile. Would you like to visit Leiden central? look at souvenir shop, open market...I am wrried about the examination.
Then some correpondence over what articles would be included in the open-book exam, culminating in:
OK. I would like to do something for you.
I think it is too easyly for you to pass exam. Take care yourself and should not study too late.
I had a little freak-out there, and had to refuse his offer to ride double on his bike for a few days after that.
Then the TMI started cropping up:
This morning I could not go to class. Because last night I must listened to the VOA too late and had a long dream. I also met you with curly hair and a warm smile to me in my dream last night.
So, could you tell me about the assignment population dynamic?
What did you do the examination? I did not very good.
Miss you so much and meet you tomorrow
0.0
Some corespondence on what train station he will be able to buy international tickets. The course finishes and the classmates get together for drinks and chips, and Mister *** takes pictures. He insists on holding hands for our picture, which I cannot, in good social conscience, deny. (Though I've already mentioned my reluctance of physical contact on this LJ.)
So he emails:
I am very happy today. Because I know everybody interested in my presentation, I think you too. I often saw you when I presentation. I saw you smiling, so I think it is going better and I fell more confident. Thank you very much for everything.
To which I respond:
Your presentation was great! Really, it was really clear and also very interesting. And you saw how much everyone loved the videos of the water puppets :D
I'm glad to know that you'll be joining our class again, even if only for a week.
Have a great time in Paris!
See? Nice, but nothing more. What do I get in reply?
Now I am in Parris. I met my my sister. Parris is very interesting and exciting. I really like to go with you. But I thing that We have a distance which we can not pass. Now I am thinking about you, about your warm hands. I can not forget the felling at that time when we took a photograp. I appear like a angel in my life. Meet you in my dream tonight. I would like we can go to explore Dan haag, or some where. You can decide.
I must look our picture before I go to bed, smiling.
0.0 people, 0.0 indead.
Why is there no "horrified" mood?
ETA: Have I mentioned he's married? With a child? Pictures of whom he showed in class? "Distance we cannot pass" indeed! That's the fucking Wall of China I'm hiding behind. *hides in terror*
ETA2: Sorry for spamming you, flist. (Though, if any of you were online, this wouldn't happen.) Please be reading the Matt/Teaching Twig, yes?
ETA3: Only The Mighty Boosh can truly convey how creaped out I am by this.
* Bernard Kerik
There's this Vietnamese professor who's been sitting in on my Environmental Processes class, on exchange to learn new teaching methods and mindmeld with the European scientists. Since his English isn't really up to par for the course - or any, really - some of the students, myself included, have been helping him out a bit. We've emailed a few times, him asking for help or advice and such. We call him Mister *** (which is actually his first name 'cause Vietnam writes names like China and Japan).
Lately, they've been getting weird. Like, "do not go there" weird. At first I thought, well, his English isn't so hot, and different culture and all, maybe he doesn't realize how off these things sound.
But his last email literally made me facepalm, squirm, and moan "Oh my god, no, no no!" in a vastly horrified voice.
The evolution of the emails
How it starts off:
I am very happy to meet you. I am interessted in this course. But my english is not very good, so I have a little trouble. I really need your help. Thank you very much for your note. It realy usefull for me. I will try to understand what you note.
I reply in what I hope is a friendly yet impersonal way and it continues nicely:
How is your at weekend? I would like to go around Leiden, but I must learn english at home, listening, learn new word... Because....smile. Would you like to visit Leiden central? look at souvenir shop, open market...I am wrried about the examination.
Then some correpondence over what articles would be included in the open-book exam, culminating in:
OK. I would like to do something for you.
I think it is too easyly for you to pass exam. Take care yourself and should not study too late.
I had a little freak-out there, and had to refuse his offer to ride double on his bike for a few days after that.
Then the TMI started cropping up:
This morning I could not go to class. Because last night I must listened to the VOA too late and had a long dream. I also met you with curly hair and a warm smile to me in my dream last night.
So, could you tell me about the assignment population dynamic?
What did you do the examination? I did not very good.
Miss you so much and meet you tomorrow
0.0
Some corespondence on what train station he will be able to buy international tickets. The course finishes and the classmates get together for drinks and chips, and Mister *** takes pictures. He insists on holding hands for our picture, which I cannot, in good social conscience, deny. (Though I've already mentioned my reluctance of physical contact on this LJ.)
So he emails:
I am very happy today. Because I know everybody interested in my presentation, I think you too. I often saw you when I presentation. I saw you smiling, so I think it is going better and I fell more confident. Thank you very much for everything.
To which I respond:
Your presentation was great! Really, it was really clear and also very interesting. And you saw how much everyone loved the videos of the water puppets :D
I'm glad to know that you'll be joining our class again, even if only for a week.
Have a great time in Paris!
See? Nice, but nothing more. What do I get in reply?
Now I am in Parris. I met my my sister. Parris is very interesting and exciting. I really like to go with you. But I thing that We have a distance which we can not pass. Now I am thinking about you, about your warm hands. I can not forget the felling at that time when we took a photograp. I appear like a angel in my life. Meet you in my dream tonight. I would like we can go to explore Dan haag, or some where. You can decide.
I must look our picture before I go to bed, smiling.
0.0 people, 0.0 indead.
Why is there no "horrified" mood?
ETA: Have I mentioned he's married? With a child? Pictures of whom he showed in class? "Distance we cannot pass" indeed! That's the fucking Wall of China I'm hiding behind. *hides in terror*
ETA2: Sorry for spamming you, flist. (Though, if any of you were online, this wouldn't happen.) Please be reading the Matt/Teaching Twig, yes?
ETA3: Only The Mighty Boosh can truly convey how creaped out I am by this.
* Bernard Kerik