bending_sickle: (For fuck's sake)
bending_sickle ([personal profile] bending_sickle) wrote2010-01-10 10:51 pm

It was a dark and stormy nightmare...*

I haven't been sleeping well for ages, by which I mean I roll around the bed being all physically uncomfortable, not that I lie awake for ages. I've also recently been having really bad anxiety-filled dreams, which are just swell. (By which I mean, "DIE, SUBCONSCIOUS! DIE!") Also, Yay Nedroid Comic!

Dream 1 - Tuesday?: I have cancer. [I've had a few of those.] For a medical exam - or perhaps an academic exam - I'm in a roofed sand-filled arena (of the horse-riding variety) and turn into a young brown cow.

Dream 2 - Friday: I jump into the ocean backwards, scuba-mask over my face. [I've gone snorkling before, and every time I need to focus on my breathing to prevent panic.] I fall down into the depths backwards - everything is black and cold - knowing, just knowing, that I'm falling into shark-territory. I can't do anything but fall. ... It's sunny and I'm outside over a massive swimming-pool watertank [I've this irrational fear of sharks in swimming pools - thanks, Jaws.] which is also a deep, deep well. Other people are there, and from the well we extract a small dead shark - like a dog shark.

Dream 3 - Saturday: [Holy fucking gods, this one made me freak right out.] In a large building - a Dollhouse Research and development one - I'm working in a normal office, although my position is as a reseacher. One Doll - Alpha, or at least one who looks like Alpha - escaped a while ago and is stopping all the Dolls-gone-bad. During a testing experiment and/or sex, not-escaped!Alpha suddenly goes from squishy adorable love partner to gripping my wrist tightly. [I suppose this reflects my experience with R, who once tickled the bejeezus out of me and I was begging him to stop and got a little scared because I couldn't really fight back even if I tried. Sexual dimorphism can kiss my ass.] He starts repeating a set of three phrases over and over again, each identical, a statement of some order he's meant to carry out, and they only differ in the last word, which gets progressively more threatening, implying he'll love me, hurt me a lot, kill me, or something like that. I try to escape the bed but can't struggle against the grip. [Hello, rape-fear.]

The Escaped-And-Good!Alpha shows up and says something to the other Alpha, tries to talk him out of his Kill Mode or reason with him, or find out his codeword to turn him off. I flee the scene, knowing enough to take salvation when I can and get the fuck out of there instead of standing around to see if my rescuer succeeds. [Might be selfish, but I'm not stupid. If someone's out to get you, and only you, you run like fuck when given a window.] I run down a brightly lit flight of stairs, out of the building past two security doors - the kind where one won't open until the one behind you is closed - to an underground garage, panicking like hell.

Just as I step out, I realize I've left my keys behind and can't get back in, although why would I want to? [The symbolism, it escapes me.] I don't know if I have my car keys. I run to where my car was parked - the garage shifting from underground to sunny outside - and freak right out when I see that my car isn't there, twirling around in a panic. I realize that there's a good reason why my car isn't there - I didn't park it there, I've had it towed home because I've been working for days at the building - and that it's not due to Evil!Alpha taking it. There are cops everywhere in the parking place, looking for the Bad Doll.

I have a confrontation with Good Alpha, who asks me what the hell did I do to get Bad Alpha at me, wanting to hurt and kill me. But he's not really blaming me, more just wondering why I didn't do anything to stop Bad Alpha before he did anything in the first place, he was going to kill me anyway. I punch Good Alpha in a righteous rage, saying, "'Cause I won't be a killer like you, Alpha." [Which I suppose reflects my morals about how you can't blame people for things they haven't done yet, even if you think they will.]

Dream 4: Driving around a land-rover - first an open plain, then a muddy jungle, and finally a city while it rains. My brother and mother are in, I'm in the front seat (which is, bizarredly, outside the car, on the hood) getting soaked. There's also a little kid involved. In a motel - deep wood tones, twin beds, second-story - is Jeffrey Dean Morgan (here playing the part of Dream!Me's father, who is being all Papa Winchester) has a gun. I don't know whether it's for protection or because he's suicidal, but there's something dejected in the scenario. Or maybe it's meant for us.


Quote of the Day: [livejournal.com profile] snowcoma, here
I sleep with a (sheathed) machete under my pillow. Paranoid? Maybe. Overkill? Almost certainly. Do I feel safe at night? Fuck yes.


Video of the Day: Fanvid: Tennant!Hamlet Soliloquy + Doctor Who's The End of Ten - I cried, guys! I cried!



Links of the Day:

Doctor Who:
[livejournal.com profile] renbyrnes's Picspam: Top 10 Tenth Doctor Moments
[livejournal.com profile] tennant_love's David Tennant's foreward for the Special's DVD Box Set - Death from d'aw.
[livejournal.com profile] tzikeh's Reaction to DTennant's foreward - YOU MUST READ THIS. it is possibly the single most adorablest thing every written in the history of adorableness. Honest.
[livejournal.com profile] mayhap's Transcription of DTennant's Foreward
[livejournal.com profile] qthewetsprocket's Neil Gaiman has a Doctor Who Scarf - Squee at the photos, my pretties!
[livejournal.com profile] smb_guess_who's Fanart: Theta and Koschei on Gallifrey - D'aw!

Watchmen:
[livejournal.com profile] fluffybluesheep's [livejournal.com profile] metaquotesed Interesting thoughts on watching the Watchmen. - Cut for capslock, lolspeak, and multiple purposeful misspellings of "Rorschach". -

"ROSHOCK: DEM ARMS
DAN: DAT ASS
LAURIE: DEM LEGS
ADRIAN: DEM HIPS
DR. MANHATTAN: LOL DAT SCHLONG (OH YEAH IT WAS BLUE LOLOLOLOL!!!!1)
COMEDIAN: DEM THIGHS"


[livejournal.com profile] ruxi's [livejournal.com profile] metaquotesed on scary noises and being extra-cautious
[livejournal.com profile] strangecreature's Rorschach from Watchmen has a blog. - "The fangirls have seen my true face. They think it's kind of sexy. God help us all."
Head Trip Comic's Rorschach blogs
[livejournal.com profile] sundancekate's Macro: Rorschach for Twelve (Original post on [livejournal.com profile] ihasatardis - When Watchmen and Doctor Who Combine! Also, as much as I love him, DO NOT WANT.
[livejournal.com profile] butchiemcgee's Comments on the crazier Rorschach fangirls winning thread of win - I GAVE THEM FREE TICKETS TO THE GUN SHOW!!! - and [livejournal.com profile] dejadrew's perfect metaphor for the non-delusional variety of crush
[livejournal.com profile] flyyourselfaway's Picspam: EPIC JACKIE EARLE HALEY POST!! - [livejournal.com profile] sonandheir: "HIS LITTLE RORSCHACH SIGNATURE. OH MY HEART."
[livejournal.com profile] rorschachsdiary
Tom Smith's Song Rorschach Love - Omglol!

Supernatural:
[livejournal.com profile] deny1984's Icons and Banners
[livejournal.com profile] dean_sam's flocked Suggested list of screencap galleries

Lost:
Examiner's Lost Characters Explain How to Make a PB&J Sandwich - Jack: "Point gun at ingredients and shout 'HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?'"

Heroes:
[livejournal.com profile] redscharlach's Thoughts on Upon This Rock and Let It Bleed

True Blood:
[livejournal.com profile] flyicarus's Fanmix: A Love Story in Two Acts (Eric/Sookie)

Random:
[livejournal.com profile] marika_kailaya's Smackdown against the whole "i don't even have a child, autism stole my baby!!!" syndrome - Win.
Discovermagazine's Kinkiness Beyond Kiny - "There comes a time in every science writer’s career when one must write about glass duck vaginas and explosive duck penises.">
NYTimes' The 11 Best Foods You Aren't Eating
YouTube's Cub of Brown Joy - Elemental - An ode to tea. ; Hilty & Bosch BOTY Asia 2008 - Holy choreography, Batman!
[livejournal.com profile] the__seeker's cupcakes and cupcakes


* Dream, Sandman by Neil Gaiman

[identity profile] poisoned-sleep.livejournal.com 2010-01-11 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
EEEEEEEEEK.

Those dreams are horrifying.

*pulls blanket over head in fear*

xxx
Kit-Kat

[identity profile] poisoned-sleep.livejournal.com 2010-01-11 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
ALSO: OMG I WANT THOSE CUPCAKES. FULL OF DELICIOUS WIN.

[identity profile] bending-sickle.livejournal.com 2010-01-11 09:22 am (UTC)(link)
*hides under blanket with you* *slips in a tray of cupcakes*